ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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