guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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