What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
