we have officially lost it.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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