"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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