You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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