Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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