when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
