okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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