Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
