My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
