She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
