Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
