Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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