i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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