I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
