You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
