I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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