he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
