I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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