Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize