hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
