What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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