Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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