I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
