i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
