anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize