There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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