I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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