i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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