Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
pop tarts are not kleenex
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
