Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize