You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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