Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
