lets start a swedish sibling band together
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
