these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I intend to get homeless drunk
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Drake has all the answers
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
