I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
