Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
