My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
