Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
