and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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