i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
