I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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