I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
