Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
