And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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