i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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