that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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