Nicole vs. Life
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
