so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
