just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
