at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
