weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
