and my herpes radar will keep us safe
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize