And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
