Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
