I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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