Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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