you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
