so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
